Why not?
by silverwolf2002
Summary: The things that would never happen in Percy Jackson, even though they should. These scenes should have a place in the Percy Jackson world. Because hey. Why not?


Credit to all those other fanfictioners that inspired this!

(Oh gosh that was so cheesy)

...

Percy: (Faces 10 hydras and a minotaur)

Percy:Honestly! You guys are so stupid! I'm just going to whip out my sword and attack you all!

Minotaur: ROARRRRRRRR!

Percy: (Pulls out Riptide and clicks the lid. Riptide remains a pen.)

Percy: (Looks at pen confused)

Percy: (Frantically clicks Riptide over and over again)

Percy: Um...I think it's broken. (Nervously backs away)

Percy: Ha...ha... CHIRON!

...

Calypso upon arriving at camp half blood

Calypso: What's that?

Leo: A shed

Calypso: What's that?

Leo: It's a place you put stuff in or to hide in

Calypso: Why

Leo: I donno, if you're like in there with your girlfriend or something

Calypso: Why

Leo: So you could...uh...kiss?

Calypso: Why

Leo: It shows affection

Calypso: Why

Leo: Cause you only do it to your girlfriend

Calypso: Why

Leo: Cause then she'll get mad

Calypso: Why

Leo: Because you're cheating on her

Calypso: Why

Leo: Oh boy...

10 years later...

Leo: Can I go to the bathroom now? I kind of haven't went for 10 years...

Calypso: Why

...

Percy junior at a mortal school:

Teacher: Let's learn about the ocean!

Everybody: Yay!

Teacher: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Everybody: SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS!

Percy Jr: Actually, Poseidon lives under the sea, but not in a pineapple. He lives in a palace that was newly renovated by him and Daddy after the war against Oceanus. Granddaddy Poseidon always lets me visit.

Teacher: ...

...

Annabeth junior at a mortal school:

Teacher: Okay! Silent reading time is over! Lets put our books away!

Percy Jr: Yes! Finally! I couldn't understand anything!

Everybody stands up to put their books away except for Annabeth:

Teacher: Annabeth! Books away!

Annabeth Jr: No! I'm reading about how the Einstein method, mass squared and energy plus the speed of light, negatively impacts the scientific society in two eighths, or one fourths of a centuries time!

Teacher: Reaches to take the book away: Annabeth...

Annabeth Jr: (Screams) NOOO! NOT THE BOOK!

(Screams more as the teacher wrestles for the book)

Annabeth Jr: STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!

...

(Nico and Will are walking down the beach together)

Nico: You know, Will?

Will: What?

Nico: I just want to say..Thanks...These past years have been really hard for me...

Will: No problem. Anytime!

Nico: (Smiles at Will gratefully and reaches out to touch his shoulder)

Percy: (Randomly jumps out of a nearby bush and scowls at them)

Percy: WHAT? SO WILL'S OKAY?

Nico: Not this again... When will you forget?

Percy: FORGET WHAT? THAT I'M NOT YOUR TYPE?

Percy and Nico: Grrrrrr...

Will: Okay...I'm just going to...leave...now...

...

Random daughter of Apollo: (Puts on makeup) Ugh! Why isn't this working?

Silena: The makeup doesn't like you.

Random daughter of Apollo: What?

Silena: It told me that your skin is too hot. And the blush is late for a date with his girlfriend.

Everybody: What the heck?

Silena: What, so it's okay for Percy to be able to speak with horses, or Leo to be able to speak robot, but I can't talk to makeup?

Everybody: ...

Silena: YOU'LL REGRET THIS!

Everybody: ?

Silena: (Looks at mascara) Omg. I know right. It's so unfair how you like, have to go to the dentist even if you don't have teeth.

(Looks at blush) Oh. By the way, your girlfriends mad at you.

Everybody:?

...

(Jason and Piper sit together at a fancy restaurant)

Jason: So...Piper...There's something I want to ask you...

(Gets down on one knee)

Piper: (Squeals) No way!

Jason: Pipes...Will you give me the honor of marrying you?

Piper: (Starts crying)

Jason: Opens a velvet box, revealing a ring made out of...plastic.

Piper:...

Jason: Sorry...It was the only thing that doesn't attract any lightning.

...

(At a girls bonding camp)

Instructor: Now. This is Annabeth. Lets all introduce ourselves to her!

Instructor: Im Ruby. I like red!

Thalia: I'm Thalia. I set your boyfriend on fire and almost killed him.

Rachel: I'm Rachel. I randomly kissed your boyfriend and didn't tell you.

Calypso: I'm Calypso. I tried to convince your boyfriend to spend his life with me for eternity and leave you forever.

Percy: Uh. I'm Percy. I'm a boy. Please don't kill me!

Annabeth: Smiles sweetly at all of them

Everybody: Phew...

Annabeth: (Suddenly lunges and punches all of them on the face, knocking them all out)

Annabeth: Buh bye...SUCKERRRRS!

Annabeth: (Sashays away)

Instructors: So much for bonding...

...

Meanwhile...

Leo: BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE WASHROOM OKAY LADY? IS THAT ENOUGH? CAUSE I REALLY REALLY HAVE TO GO NOW!

Calypso: Why


End file.
